Thursday, November 19, 2009

F My Life

Today, as I was wandering around the web, I came across a site that has quickly became a new favorite of mine. I do not how many of you know about this humorous site called "F My Life". I spent nearly an hour going throught the short stories, almost brought to tears from laughing so hard. The tagline to this site is "Get the guts to spill the beans" and that is exactly what it presents. Here are some recent examples.

Today, I finally got out of the hospital for having Swine Flu for 3 weeks. So to celebrate, I went for a nice ride on my horse. While I was riding some birds flew in front of us and scared my horse. I am now back in the hospital because my horse ran over me. FML

Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it- and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

But, the one thing that makes this site different from most sites of this genre is the readers have a chance to vote for or against the author. The two options are:

I agree: Your Life Sucks or You Totally Deserved It.

Check this site out. Cast some votes. I guarantee it will brighten your day.


Author: Tyr Annassassi

APP: According to witnesses Santa and the 9 reindeer (Rudolph leading the way) did a drive by this morning around 3am and were successful in taking down the Easter Bunny. "The bunny was doing his usual pre-Easter hiding of eggs and never saw it coming" says the Tooth Fairy, who was doing her daily rounds. The alleged weapon of choice was a modified elf designed toy gun found at the scene. Santa yelled "Talk sh*t now!" just before pulling the trigger; witnesses say. Santa was last seen heading North and attempts to have him turn himself in have been unsuccessful. The Police spokeswoman has informed the media that Mrs. Claus has spoken with her husband and her pleas have fallen on deaf ears. Police further say that the attack stems from an argument between the two where the Easter Bunny claimed that he was loved more by kids; the words escalated and the two were physically separated by Cupid. The public is placed on high alert, Santa is believed to be armed and dangerous due to a large toy sack he was carrying in the sleigh. " We don't know how many toy guns he has in his possession, but the sack was pretty large", say the Police.

A few elves wishing to remain anonymous, stated "this feud has been going on for awhile" and they believe Santa snapped from the pressure of being on the "Atkins Diet" for so long. The Cookie Monster being an expert on eating, says "Food deprivation is the number one cause of murder in this country". "There comes a breaking point where the hunger pains become too great and the mind snaps", he continues.

The police do not believe this will end peacefully based on their conversations with Santa but are hoping for the best outcome. "We believe that we will have to use deadly force....that dude is crazy", says Captain Crunch. Mrs. Claus believes this is a clever scheme devised by the originator of both Christmas and Easter. "I think Jesus wants his days back" she stated at the press conference. Jesus who has been outspoken on the over commercialization of these two holidays had no comment.

Tyr Annassassi reporting.

About the Author:

Tyr Annassassi (pronounced Tier Anna-saw-see) has a sundry collection of works which include poetry, brain teasers and satirical articles.